Thursday, August 11, 2011

On Marriage! Guest Blogger

When we first came across Becks and the City, we had to feature her on TC30s.  I mean her blog and life is filled with complete awesomeness!  Becks is a self-proclaimed aspiring Carrie Bradshaw quest to become a published writer and honestly she is already there.  She has been published in Cosmopolitan and Women's Fitness...seriously, Becks is (not going) but already in places!  And she looks much cuter than Carrie if you ask me!

Becks brings her awesome writing and keen perception on relationships with of course, Sex and the City flare! Definitely an interesting, thoughtful and fun read!


Carrie Bradshaw Wonders... How to Rescue a Relationship?

I must admit I'm not, in fact, Carrie Bradshaw, but I do want to become her. I own an avalanche of "Sex and the City" memorabilia, I've taken 2011 off from my day job to launch a magazine writing career and my blog, Becks and the City ( and I have more than a passing interest in shoes. Endless analysis of relationships is also second nature to me and recently, I've become obsessed with a certain topic...

In all Carrie's sermonizing on love and sex through all the episodes, I don't remember any concrete advice on how a couple can work a relationship back from the brink.

I've seen fairytale relationships that have stood the test of time (other people's parents, not mine), I've seen break-ups, I've seen flings, but where are the couples that have reached the point of wanting to separate, considered couples counselling to stop the endless bickering, and have resurrected a dying relationship?

Of course, everyone has their deal-breakers, where no matter what, they won't patch things up when a partner crosses the line. Fair enough that those who cheat or physically hurt you don't deserve a second chance. In the absence of any serious wrong-doing, though, relationships at breaking point can surely still be saved. How do you do it?

The reason I ask is that several couples in our group of friends are in this situation and I don't know how to help them. I've experienced it before, with a partner of nine years and we ended it. It couldn't be salvaged. I recognise the same signs in my friends' relationships -- cruel barbs about each other at dinner parties, increasingly divergent interests and circles of friends, overreacting to harmless comments your partner makes because you no longer trust each other...

One theory I've come up with is that if you fix the sex, everything else follows.

It forms the basis of intimacy and trust in couples, so I think there's something to it. Difficult to discuss with people, though, and even more difficult to test this theory. Hey, p*ssed off couples, how do you fancy being part of a sex experiment? Yeah, that'll work. Hey, if you have any better ideas, be sure to pass them on.

I'm still, like Carrie, searching for all the answers in the realm of love.

I can't help but wonder... how do you live happily ever after without disaster?

An aspiring Carrie Bradshaw's quest to become a published writer...

"Becks and the City" blog:

Thanks Becks and ladies, confess to her question?